Skorch Magazine

I got a link to Skorch magazine today in my Don't Tell Me What Size I Must Be email. Lots of gorgeous plus size models & good info. This will be a regular stop for me!

The Quest for Bigger Boobs

You have to go see this kid talk about the quest for bigger boobs on YouTube. He is wise beyond his years. Found him via Beauty and the Breast.

This kid, Harryrnpttr, deserves a BFBK!

Kisses

Unless something hits me with demonic force & I feel driven to post it, this will probably be my last post until after Christmas. Things are getting insanely busy & I can barely remember my name much less write much of a coherent post.

I read everybody on the Fatosphere plus several others each & every day. I'll be reading all throughout the holidays. You folks are an inspiration. I love all the humorous, intelligent, diverse & thoughtful writing that is out there. I'm learning so much about accepting my fat self. I'm learning a lot in general. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to post & share your experiences & knowledge.

I hope to be back at it after Christmas....adding my wee bit to the pool. I hope everybody has a Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday!

Kisses From Kat

The Perfect Christmas Tree

Well, I think the hissy fit I had on Saturday just about did me in! I haven't been able to think of a single thing to write about since then. Christmas is on my mind, so I'll try that.

I like Christmas, but I'm afraid I have a couple of Christmas "hang-ups" due to my perfectionist parents. My mom had REALLY BAD obsessive compulsive disorder & my dad's one tour of duty in the military REALLY stuck with him. We were taught to make our beds military style. My mom waxed, yes I said waxed, our wooden floors monthly....at least. I could go on, but I'm talking about Christmas today.

At Christmastime we took everything out of our dining room. My dad was sent out to find the biggest, most perfectly shaped tree in town. When he got home, it was trimmed to perfection & squeezed into our smallish dining room. That is when the Christmas tree torture began.

Our tree had to look like a department store tree, a perfect masterpiece, or my mom would go in the hospital with a nervous breakdown or something. She would get this strange gleam in her eyes as she strategically placed each ornament onto the branches. Every ornament had to be perfectly spaced...no gaps or holes. My sister & I anxiously tried to help hang balls. Mostly we felt in the way. I always expected mom to break out the ruler & actually start measuring the distance between balls.

Back then, we used long silvery "ice-cicles" on our tree. My sister & I loved these shiny stringy things. We weren't allowed to toss them up in the air to see where they landed though. Nope. That would have been too much fun....and messy. We had to hang them ever so neatly. It took hours. I have to say the tree always did end up looking pretty in an impersonal, department store, cold, bizarre sort of way. Shiver. I always envied my friends' trees that were sort of a messy comfy mix of cheerful stuff.

To this day my mom's Christmas tree is perfectly color coordinated with gorgeous expensive ornaments. My mom means well & despite her OCD induced order & neatness, she does have a heart. She's certainly mellowed a bit over the years. She no longer tortures herself with a thousand neatly hanging ice-cicles. In fact, every year she goes crazy & hangs one of my daughter's old pacifiers on her tree. It isn't the right color or anything! Of course, it is enclosed in a nicely decorated, color coordinated clear ball.

Here at my house we don't live by hard & fast rules at Christmastime or anytime. We get our tree up when we can & leave it up as long as we feel like it. It is decorated in a hodge-podge of old & new ornaments. Some of my favorites are little ornaments my daughter has made over the years. They are messy & some are barely holding together. They remind me of sweet times & warm my heart. So, we might get the tree decorated today...maybe tomorrow. Being slow about it has nothing to do with being fat & lazy. It has everything to do with relaxing, taking our time & enjoying every second of it.

My New Serenity Prayer

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the Fat Hating jerks who say, "If you would just lose some weight, you wouldn't have all these problems!" Kat@BFBK


Well, my blood is boiling.

I've just been reading some of this Dan Savage stuff. Like Rachel, I've been on every side of big. I have a f-ing eating disorder. I just happen to be on the fat side of it & except for Fat Haters, my life is great. I have a devoted handsome husband & a daughter who is a talented violinist. At the end of 5th grade last year she scored at a college level in most subjects on her SATs. How could a lazy stupid fat mom have such brilliant offspring? My husband is a great dad & a fabulous provider. Life is good man. Who's f-ing business is it if I am fat?

People with an attitude like Mr. Savage caused me to attempt suicide as a teenager....when I was pretty & thin. I'm sure a higher percentage of men would have been attracted to me at that size & would have wanted to screw me. But guess what? You can't screw a dead girl. I almost died because of jerks who judged me solely on my looks. Sadly, by the age of 16 I was a wise old cynic who knew just how shallow the human race could be, especially boys.

What I say to the guy who is no longer attracted to his fat partner is dump the fat bitch. You don't deserve him or her. They'll be much better off without you. Life isn't just about screwing or being beautiful is it? Maybe in your world but not in mine.

All the ugly fat bitches I know have worked, paid taxes, taken good care of their children, done their husband's laundry, paid bills, gotten college degrees, read good books, kept up with current events, enjoyed shopping, have friends, etc. They are not spending their every waking hour driving through Krystal or Dunkin Donuts. They aren't sitting on their couches eating Twinkies all day. They are intelligent, busy, productive people. That is the key word here don't ya think....people....person...human being?

We aren't living in Nazi Germany. We are living in the good old USA where everybody, including ugly fat bitches, are created equally and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So why don't you just mind your own business & let me, a fat American, get on with my life....my very happy life.

Oh, and by the way...fat people donate blood. The blood that just might save your life, Mr. Savage, is labeled with a blood type, not a clothing size.

A Serenity Prayer

JeanC at JeanC's Cat House and Shooting Society has this Serenity Prayer at the head of her blog:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the doctors who say, "If you would just lose some weight, you wouldn't have all these problems!" -anonymous

This gave me a bad case of the giggles.

Thank goodness my doctor, unlike so many others, is a sweetie pie who does no badgering about my weight. He's safe for now.

Throwing A Big Fat Beautiful Kiss to Fat Girl Blog & Fatspiration

Fatspiration! What a great word!

Some of you might not know about websites that exist called pro-ana & pro-mia. I just learned about them in the last couple of months. Pro-ana is pro-anorexia. Pro-mia is pro-bulimia. These sites are where anorexics & bulimics hang out online & cheer one another on in continuing to starve & purge. It is my understanding that they even have contests to see who can do the best job of starving & puking...with the contests occasionally ending in a death. It is sick sick sick. There has been controversy over whether these sites should even be allowed to exist. Visit MamaVisionto find out more about this issue.

These pro-ana mia girls encourage one another to look at visual material called thinspiration. Thinspiration material usually consists of photos or videos of extremely thin girls, often famous girls such as the Olsen twins, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie or fashion models. Anorexic & bulimic girls use these photos & videos to inspire them & motivate them in their quest for thin beauty.

Well, Cherie at Fat Girl Blog has come up with a "Fatspiration" photo montage. And girls, it is truly inspirational! I did a big whooping war cry when I looked at the photos of these spectacularly gorgeous women. Don't tell me thin is in. Who wouldn't want to look at & look like these beautiful women. I am totally inspired to love myself as a big woman today. Thanks Cherie! Mwah!

Beth Ditto at Fashion Rocks 2007

Um....there was a fashion show? Don't know about you but I kept wanting to swat at the models...they were like irritating little flies buzzing around!

Love what Beth Ditto of Gossip says in this video...respect yourself, accept yourself & WORK IT!

Shhhh...Beth had this "old lady" off her chair at 7am...rockin' the house down!

Happy 12th Birthday Sweetie!

My daughter has cystic fibrosis. It is an incurable genetic disease that involves the lungs & digestive system. Folks with CF can have a very difficult time keeping their weight on. My bright, pretty, smart, daughter eats constantly, eats anything, and eats a lot, yet she is thin. I would say, lucky her, except that I know how terrible the disease is & all that she goes through.


Love your fat. Fat is good, especially in winter. Fat makes me a freak of nature...not in a bad way....in a good way. I am as good as standing near a fire! I emanate heat. My daughter loves it! She is forever wanting to snuggle in with me to warm up. That is a real fat perk considering today is her 12th birthday!


Happy 12th baby doll!



Love u,

Mom

The Coup

I loved Napoleon Dynamite & his friends. My school had some kids exactly like them. These kids were the "lowest of the low" in terms of social status. Most of them were very bright nerdy types with stilted social skills. I never knew them that well, not because they were unpopular, but because I was painfully shy. Even the nerdy kids at my school had a posse. Not me. I had two main friends. They were nice normal girls that were friends with me before I lost weight. I didn't get new friends just because I got skinny.

I became very "popular" when I went back to high school for my junior year. Except for becoming anorexic & exercise bulimic (thus dropping 40 pounds over the summer), I don't know how in the world I garnered so much new attention. I guess part of it was because over the course of the school year I learned to fake confidence. I learned to keep my best nervous grin glued on all day so people wouldn't know how scared I was. I was scared because I was used to being blown off & ruthlessly picked on. I looked & acted so differently that lots of kids thought I was a new girl. Keep smiling & let them believe it. This is way cooler that being picked on.

Even with my newly found "acceptance", I had few real conversations with people my entire junior & senior years of high school. Yet somehow, among other things, I was voted one of 5 senior girls to be named Miss Yearbook candidate. The rest of the candidates were long time super popular snobs. Of course, I was thrilled to be voted a Miss Yearbook candidate.... it was like a supernatural spiritual experience.....a miracle of sorts. It was just boring run of the mill stuff for the other four girls & five guys.
The 10 candidates got to go off campus for a special yearbook photo shoot. That photo shoot was one of the most surreal, strange & uncomfortable experiences I've ever had. I had to spend several hours with people that had always blown me off. I didn't have a single person to talk to. They had no intentions of talking to me....ever. It just wasn't going to happen. Kind of like ain't no how no way new money is ever gettin' into the old money country club in town. I wondered what I was doing there.

My junior year I was also appointed to the yearbook staff by a science teacher. She assigned me to pick out the candid photos for my junior class & the freshman class. These were photos that were to be interspersed with the formal class photos and each year were invariably of the long time super pops. My science teacher was probably a former nerd. Did she know what she was doing when she gave me this assignment?

I attacked my assignment with pure pleasure & fervor. It was a heady experience. The "power" I felt was intoxicating. I was like an addict on a good high as I gleefully tossed aside all the photos of the super pops. It was hard to find enough photos, but I made dang sure that every single candid photo was of the "lowly masses"...my fellow nerds & outcasts! When the yearbooks came in, all the long time super pop snobs were searching the candid class photos for their cute little faces. They weren't there! Insert diabolical laugh. Hey. I know it might seem small & mean but...no, don't get up...hold your applause...really...it was the least I could do. I remember the "lowly masses" really enjoyed that year's yearbook!

I don't care how "popular & pretty" I became my junior & senior years of high school, I was always one of them...the "lowly masses"...the nerds & outcasts. I always will be. It is simply who I am. The nerds & outcasts never knew about the little yearbook stunt I pulled off just for them. I never told anybody about it until years later. And I really didn't do it sheerly to be mean to the super snobs(although I enjoyed every second of their "pain" ). In retrospect, I think I was doing it for all of us that have ever been blown off, bullied, picked on, rejected & hated for no good reason. Somehow even back then, unknowingly, I was being a shy quiet rebel...an activist of sorts. I had a once in a lifetime chance to make a point...a clear quiet statement. It was a stealthy and totally successful coup. Go nerds!

The Perfect 23 Inch Waist

The following is from Beauty And The Breast. Visit their site to view the entire post.

"I recently read a quote in the November issue of More magazine. “Almost 3/4 of cosmetic surgery is done on patients UNDER 50 years old.” (emphasis added). This was a finding taken from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and comprehensive surveys conducted by Trend Sight Group.

This statement took me by surprise, as when I think cosmetic surgery, I automatically think “appearance age reduction.” To me, that is for mature women!

Of course, it is statistics such as this that drives the manufactures’ advertising campaign dollars. It is no wonder that all the anti-aging products, skin care and diet programs are all being advertised using lovely young women and men under 30-years old.

What has driven our society of beautiful young men and women to this point of such low self esteem? There are so many out there who are not happy unless they have the PERFECT, nose, eyes, teeth, breasts and waist size.

The media, manufactures and reality shows are constantly telling young people that they have an image problem…even when they DON’T!(emphasis added)

I am not saying that there isn’t an often justified need for plastic surgery, orthodontics and concealing cosmetics….BUT…. let’s get back to what is real. NOT EVERY person needs braces, porcelain veneers, rhinoplasty and the perfect 23-inch waist."

This is so true. The Fat Haters, the Anorexia & Beauty Pushers are constantly messing with our minds. They are especially messing with the minds of our young people. We need some sort of counter-movement...like Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty, but on a much larger scale...to combat all the "perfection" trash that litters our daily environment.